𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚇.

As I try to close up one chapter and move to the next, I’m forced to reflect on my story up until this point in life. The last 3 years have been a tough road, while battling trauma, depression, and PTSD everyday. I have been tired and exhausted for a long time now. However, today I can truly say ” I am proud of you girl”. Today, I officially started my doctorate degree at Duke University. The more knowledge I obtain, the more knowledge I have to share with my community. This degree is for US. Y’all it has been a journey, but I’m so thankful to be here!

With love, Future Dr. LotusFlower, RN

Stay Focused.

LotusFlower, RN

I know it may be a struggle, but try to look beyond what is right in front of your eyes.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
Aristotle Onassis

Don’t get lost in the present moment. I know it may be a struggle, but try to look beyond what is right in front of your eyes.

One thing I learned at the age of 22, is that life keeps moving and the world keeps spinning, whether you are ready for departure or not.

At 22 years of age, as most of you know, I had major back surgery that threatened my ability to walk again. Yes, this was incredibly scary. And yes, my mental well-being took most of the hit.

But, now at 31 years old, I have a different appreciation for my current state of recovery. I am able to REST my mind and body because I am FOCUSED on what’s to come. I know my current state does not define the rest of my future.

While you are drowning it is hard to think about anything besides oxygen. But once you figure out how to swim, remember where you started and FOCUS on where you are heading.

With love always, LotusFlower,RN

The Tale of a Girl on Her Back.

You …

You could think lying on your back would be easy.

But…

I can’t even look you in the eyes

While you climb on top and do as you please…

…The Girl on Her Back

Does it even matter if I am in the room. I guess not, because you don’t even notice. Notice that I am not in the mood, notice that it doesn’t feel good, notice that I am only doing this to make you happy. I would be lying though if I told you I had never been here before. But, the confusion is just the same… Shouldn’t it be easy to just lie on your back?

The very tattoo on my back reminds me of moments like this. And, I chose these bright colors for such a dark topic because I still want to shine light on where I am despite the humans that have broken me. That this beautiful girl is able to stand proud despite the darkness she carries within her.

Like the true lotus flower she is.

“It is a symbol of purity.”
LotusFlower,RN

Need Help?

I know this topic can be triggering. So, if you find you are in need of help, here are some resources in the U.S.

Finding help is one of the strongest things you can do in life ❤

DV Hotline

Contact Them
1-800-799-SAFE
Text “START” to 88788

Lifeline

Website
1-800-273-8255
24/7 Support

Helpline

Website
1-800-662-4357
24/7 Support

A letter to my sister.

To: My Sister I didn’t protect.

The people that ostracized me

To the only family I had that made me feel guilty

I hate that this happened to you too

I hate that you yearn for freedom and live carrying this dark pain

My wound is still raw and still burns

The pain is nagging

It nags and nags and nags,

And nags and nags

I hate that I didn’t warn you

I was suffocated by fear

But I’m proud of you

You did the right thing

I’m here to hold your hand

To cry and yell and cry and scream

Sincerely,

LotusFlowerRN

Need Help?

I know this topic can be triggering. So, if you find you are in need of help, here are some resources in the U.S.

Finding help is one of the strongest things you can do in life ❤

DV Hotline

Contact Them
1-800-799-SAFE
Text “START” to 88788

Lifeline

Website
1-800-273-8255
24/7 Support

Helpline

Website
1-800-662-4357
24/7 Support

Post-Op Day #1 :

Hello Loves!

Happy Tuesday !! So many things to share , but I’m going to keep it short and sweet ! 🍯

As you know, I had a recent injury, and yesterday was my big surgery 💉

This opportunity has granted me a lot of time to reflect on life’s joys and lessons 📚

And, I want to share the moments I am grateful for with you! So, I will be posting and checking-in throughout this journey✨

Hoping to share light and positivity for others who may be healing and on their own road to recovery. 🦋

So, for today, on post-operative day #1 :

•

I’ᴍ Gʀᴀᴛᴇғᴜʟ Fᴏʀ Lɪғᴇ. 🌻

•

…To still have the opportunity to fight through life’s unexpected hurdles. But, also experience the rewards from not giving up. 🥇

This is my promise to not give up on myself, and I hope you find it in your heart to do the same for yourself ! 🤍

Sorry, not super short, but I promise I tried 🤣 It’s still sweet though! –

With love,

LotusFlower RN